One week break from school

                                           Time-Out!

I need this break. Every student like me needs it. Who wouldn’t? And so, my wish came true. The school gave in and let me go home at last. It’s not really a break like a holiday break. It’s Intramurals week. You know, the week where model-ish, athlete-ish, brain-ish, talented-ish shows off their all. Me? Nah, I better let my brain rest after all the stress and trauma I went through last midterms. And I’ll add this to my excuse: I don’t like to show off my abilities because I don’t have one. Ahahahahaha. Let’s face it.

Anyways, going home is the best. Nothing beats my hometown, my house and of course my family and the food! Why did I ever exchange this wonderful life to Cebu-away from home-foodless-life? Well I need to grab a good education there but I don’t want to be far away from home anymore!! Anyways, moving on, I’m home and I need all the seconds in this one week break to take a break!

I can use the internet as much as I want and I own the television for the time being. Well, we don’t have a t.v cable since birth that’s why I brought a Korean drama in DVD with me. I do love watching Asian or American series. Anyways there, those two stuffs are relaxing to me. Plus I can eat all the good food without spending even a dime and emptying my wallet. I love home. I miss my mommy, my daddy and my three little, idiotic, funny, pessimistic brothers. Try living alone and you’ll feel what I’m feeling. And and and, the best part is this.. We have yaya’s to the rescue. I don’t have to wash the dishes or seep the floor this time. Last summer, I suffered a bit because our yaya’s will just come and go. Now, they’re here to save the day and my one week break. Ha Ha Ha. Just for once okey?? 

In every happy story theirs always something that is not so happy. My brother got sick. So sick I might say. He had this flu going on for a week. Making my mother tired, worried and anxious everyday. And I have to run errands for her like giving my brother sponge baths, buying medicines, going to the doctor with them, watching for my other brothers and stuffs like that. I have to cut short my one week break because today, a Saturday.. I need to go back to Cebu. My brother is being transferred to another hospital because he’s not just having an ordinary fever but a Dengue. That’s a scary one. There’s no cure for Dengue am I right? So I have to listen to orders and go with them. The annoying thing is, Lolo Pot (the owner of the university I’m in & I call him Lolo Pot because.. I feel like it) the annoying thing is that Lolo Pot declared Monday a holiday or something like continuation of championship games. Nice one Lolo Pot. Hay naku!! Anyways, I don’t have to complain. All I have to do now is pray and wish that my brother will get better soon. I want him to be healthy so that my mom can feel at ease too. 

That’s basically it. My one week break will soon be over and crappy college life will resume. God bless the Philippines. And please, please may the dengue fever come to an end! It has to end. It’s adding trouble to everyone and to my brother.

Aib

The Eating Me

I wrote this entry when I was 15 years old. It talks about the eating me back then. :)) And hey, I revised it to make it readable. Here goes:

 It seems like it that I’m always hungry all the time. I'm not that greedy-fat-fatty of course. But when the situation calls for it I gotta admit I dig in really deep. Lol. And lucky me I do have reliable sources that will serve what my stomach orders. Whenever I’m depressed or excited or just normal I eat. When people say say music = life,  I say happiness = food.

 

   I’m craving for chocolate’s.. yuum. I always sneak some chocolate bars and eat it in my bedroom. This maybe weird to hear but when there are no chocolate bars available I used Milo as a replacement.

   I don’t really care about having a Miss Universe body.  All I care is that I’m alive and not hungry. Who cares about the carves!!  Ok now, I sound like a pig but what could I do, I’m expressing myself here. Daah.

   I wanna taste new flavors too. Like those Thai, Korean, Japanese and all-around-the-world dishes. I can’t wait for that time to come. Weeeee. I could really use some wish right now. By the way, I so love dining in at Eat-all-you-can’s. HA HA

   I think that’s it.. No need to explain further. I just wanna write something about food and my addiction to it. Well, yeah I got addicted to it but it’s better than drugs isn’t it? ha ha

Reaction: I don’t know what to say. Crazy, crazy, crazy!! That old entry of mine sounds weird, talking about food and all. But I fully understand the writer of that entry. I understand what she’s trying to express. Truthfully that eating monster inside her stomach is still alive and kicking. It’s just waiting in silence. Waiting for the girl to feed IT. Wait, that girl is me and that monster is unnamed. HAHAHA. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I can’t control the eating me. When I see good food all I can think about is to finish them off. Swear. Am I that greedy? I don’t want to be a humongous lady in the near future so I should warn myself starting now. I need to discipline myself. I’ll take note of it. For now, the only thing that could stop me from eating is when there’s no more penny left in my pocket. Damn. Such kill joy. 

 Life would be so dull without lots of good food. As I said before happiness equates food. We should love food and not go on a diet or be this anorexic person. We should taste different flavors, different happiness. So in conclusion, I conclude that I love to eat. It’s just as simple as ABC and 123. BTW: Treat Me!! ;)
 

Aib

Gone are the days ...

Found this in my multiply blog and I want to revise it a little.

 

 I FEEL LIKE THE PAST YEARS HAVE GONE SO FAST

 I’m not that old to look back and reminisce the years I spent here on earth. It’s just that I want to write something about me loving to be a kid and not having to worry about anything else. I don’t like responsibilities and to be honest if I could then I would like to stay a kid forever. But there’s no such thing as never land and Peter Pan. There’s no way out. I gotta face reality bitterly or betterly. (There’s no betterly in the dictionary. HAHA.)  Living life to the fullest? Cheers to that sentence because I’m starting to have a blast. My motto is this: “what comes, comes".  My mom keeps on lecturing me about risks and responsibilities. My ears are hurting crazily but mothers know best. There’s no other way to survive other than listening to them and putting these words right into our hearts.=p

Time is running out. The calendar page is being ripped and then soon after that a new calendar is place. Different technologies are available to the market to make our day easy and fast. Memories are being stored in albums for us to look back when we’re ancient. Time is gold they say. So we should not waste it. Time is gold, so precious that we cannot make a replica out of it. I guess I need to go with the flow or else I’ll be left behind.

Anyway, gone are the days and I had to move on and live today and enjoy every seconds in it. Weeeeeeeee..

Aibs

The part where I let go

My whole body is widely aware about the dilemma I got myself into.  I can’t say that I whole heartedly accepted the fact that some asshole snatch up my phone. Believe me, I can’t stop thinking about it and the troubles that goes along with it. I miss my phone.   I miss my alarm clock, my camera, my source of communication. I want to hold it again. And remembering that I miss it is also remembering the scene where I lose it. That scene causes me to pity myself.  The very inside of my being is screaming that I’m a useless person, unreliable, careless.

But I need to let it go and move on. Everybody do that and it’s about time that I should too. Mom and I are friends again. :)) Well, she’s not mad anymore but she can’t really forget. I need to super bribe her and make amends later. As for my phone, I’ll send it my goodbye. This is the part where I have to let it go and make the experience a reminding tool to be extra careful next time. And hey, Life goes on. :) 

Aibs

I love you mommy but you never love me ( a repost)

Found this post and I wanna share it here.

Hi, Mommy. I'm your baby. You don't know me yet, I'm only a few weeks old. You're going to find out about me soon, though, I promise. Let me tell you some things about me. My name is John, and I've got beautiful brown eyes and black hair. Well, I don't have it yet, but I will when I'm born. I'm going to be your only child, and you'll call me your one and only. I'm going to grow up without a daddy mostly, but we have each other. We'll help each other, and love each other. I want to be a doctor when I grow up.

You found out about me today, Mommy! You were so excited, you couldn't wait to tell everyone. All you could do all day was smile, and life was perfect. You have a beautiful smile, Mommy. It will be the first face I will see in my life, and it will be the best thing I see in my life. I know it already.

Today was the day you told Daddy. You were so excited to tell him about me! ...He wasn't happy, Mommy. He kind of got angry. I don't think that you noticed, but he did. He started to talk about something called wedlock, and money, and bills, and stuff I don't think I understand yet. You were still happy, though, so it was okay. Then he did something scary, Mommy. He hit you. I could feel you fall backward, and your hands flying up to protect me. I was okay... but I was very sad for you. You were crying then, Mommy. That's a sound I don't like. It doesn't make me feel good. It made me cry, too. He said sorry after, and he hugged you again. You forgave him, Mommy, but I'm not sure if I do. It wasn't right. You say he loves you... why would he hurt you? I don't like it, Mommy.
nally, you can see me! Your stomach is a little bit bigger, and you're so proud of me! You went out with your mommy to buy new clothes, and you were so so so happy. You sing to me, too. You have the most beautiful voice in the whole wide world. When you sing is when I'm happiest. And you talk to me, and I feel safe. So safe. You just wait and see, Mommy. When I am born I will be perfect just for you. I will make you proud, and I will love you with all of my heart.

I can move my hands and feet now, Mommy. I do it because you put your hands on your belly to feel me, and I giggle. You giggle, too. I love you, Mommy.

Daddy came to see you today, Mommy. I got really scared. He was acting funny and he wasn't talking right. He said he didn't want you. I don't know why, but that's what he said. And he hit you again. I got angry, Mommy. When I grow up I promise I won't let you get hurt! I promise to protect you. Daddy is bad. I don't care if you think that he is a good person, I think he's bad. But he hit you, and he said he didn't want us. He doesn't like me. Why doesn't he like me, Mommy?

You didn't talk to me tonight, Mommy. Is everything okay?

It's been three days since you saw Daddy. You haven't talked to me or touched me or anything since that. Don't you still love me, Mommy? I still love you. I think you feel sad. The only time I feel you is when you sleep. You sleep funny, kind of curled up on your side. And you hug me with your arms, and I feel safe and warm again. Why don't you do that when you're awake, any more?

I'm 21 weeks old today, Mommy. Aren't you proud of me? We're going somewhere today, and it's somewhere new. I'm excited. It looks like a hospital, too. I want to be a doctor when I grow up, Mommy. Did I tell you that? I hope you're as excited as I am. I can't wait.

...Mommy, I'm getting scared. Your heart is still beating, but I don't know what you are thinking. The doctor is talking to you. I think something's going to happen soon. I'm really, really, really scared, Mommy. Please tell me you love me. Then I will feel safe again. I love you!

Mommy, what are they doing to me!? It hurts! Please make them stop! It feels bad! Please, Mommy, please please help me! Make them stop!

Don't worry Mommy, I'm safe. I'm in heaven with the angels now. They told me what you did, and they said it's called an abortion.

Why, Mommy? Why did you do it? Don't you love me any more? Why did you get rid of me? I'm really, really, really sorry if I did something wrong, Mommy. I love you, Mommy! I love you with all of my heart. Why don't you love me? What did I do to deserve what they did to me? I want to live, Mommy! Please! It really, really hurts to see you not care about me, and not talk to me. Didn't I love you enough? Please say you'll keep me, Mommy! I want to live smile and watch the clouds and see your face and grow up and be a doctor. I don't want to be here, I want you to love me again! I'm really really really sorry if I did something wrong. I love you!
I love you, Mommy.

Every abortion is just… 
One more heart that was stopped. 
Two more eyes that will never see. 
Two more hands that will never touch. 
Two more legs that will never run. 
One more mouth that will never speak.

   This is cruel people! How could the parents do this? We make our own choices and our choice makes us but taking an innocent life can never be considered a choice. Each situation happens for a reason. But whatever the reason that mother has is, she doesn’t have to do this. To take the life of her child is absurd.  She should embrace, hold and love that child no matter what. That's the fate of every mother and child. The fate to be together, forever. It shouldn’t have to be this way. Every life is precious. Our life is precious; we need to experience the love, the happiness, and the tears. We can’t be deprived of those things.  Can we stop this cruelty? Oh, yes we can. We should not be taking our lives or other lives for granted. We need to be responsible for everything. If we’re not yet ready for this kind of situations then we should watch out for these situations. I should watch out. 

To my mom and dad,
Thank you for giving me my life.  I will not waste it.

Aibs

Last day of midterms was epic. :l

     Because of this incident, my eyes opened what Cebu City is really like. Too late, I can’t undo what happened last 08/05/’10. That’s yesterday, so fresh and heartbreaking.  I was about to knock my Medical Terminology exam down so that I can be free from all the stress and sleepless nights but in stead, I was the one to be knock down that day and the sound of it is horrible. My exam would start at 10:00 A.M. In order to get to school my cousin slash classmate and I have to take the public utility vehicle. We were about to reach the campus when TWO UGLY LOOKING BEAST went inside the jeep that I was riding that time. One of the ugly guys sat right beside me. I don’t care who sat beside me because that time I’m too busy cramming for my upcoming exam. I placed my phone at my blouse's right pocket and my fair is at the same pocket too. I was reaching for my fair and turn to At-At (my cousin) and gave it to her so she can pay it to the driver. Unknowingly, the ugly guy that I was talking to you about is a SNATCHER. A lowlife, ugly, poor snatcher. I didn’t feel it at first but when I went out of the jeep and reach for my pocket the bitter reality hit me: I don't had my phone anymore. My phone that was given by my dad and it’s not even a month old in my hands! I feel like dying that time. My instincts and reflexes acted crazily that time, I grab a cab and told the cabby to follow the tail of the jeep. I was able to reach the jeep but the two ugly beasts weren’t there anymore. The jeep driver told us that indeed those two were snatchers. WTF?! He was aware that those two were snatchers but he let them ride the jeep with us?? He told us to follow the snatchers but its all useless now, even if we found the ugly beasts, my cousin and I was unarmed and merely defenseless students. What attack could we use against those two? In the end, all I’m able and capable to do is cry. But I need to be strong, I need to cut short the drama and the runny nose because I have an exam to knock down remember? I took the exam and it was Okay. I find it easy but while obviously I was distracted. The traumatic scene keeps on replaying in my head and my freaking runny nose is disturbing me. I took the exam again at the RS office because the my exam copy lacks a page. :O Oh trouble. After that, my classmates comforted me but still I’m all cry cry cry. :((

     I went home with fluffy eyes and a terrible headache.  I calmed myself first and I tried to figure how to tell my mom and how to deal with her after. I can do a lot of horrible things but please I don’t want confrontations with my mom especially with this kind of thing. I'm dying!! I had two solutions in line. First, I will buy a new phone to replace the one I lost. But who am I kidding? I don’t have the money. I don’t know where to borrow the 15k and if ever I can get that amount of money I don’t know how to pay that huge debt. I can’t starve myself for a year to save that huge amount of course. So the last option is to tell my mom. I gathered up my strength and called her. It didn’t go that well of course. She’s extremely mad and she wants me to stop studying here by the end of the semester. She said Cebu is not really for me and that I’m not responsible, I’m tactless and useless and she even describe me with all the negative adjectives in the dictionary. She won’t even talk to me right now. :( She can’t understand my reason but I get that. I don’t have to argue, it’s my fault anyway. I let my guard down and I’m gloomy about that. 

     I really like my phone and even though it’s just a thing it’s hard to let it go. At times like this, sleeping is the very very very last option I have. After the sleep, I felt a whole lot better. I told my said that even if everything's a mess, I will not cry over spilled milk. My cousins come to the rescue. They cheered me up and put a smile back at my face. I need to cheer up because it’s my cousin’s 22nd birthday too! She’s treating us to an eat-all-you can buffet. Life is traumatic but we need to deal with it(eat it off) or else we’ll lose. I ate a lot of course and gain a big stomach but what the hell???

     I will be strong and move on though it’s freaking hard. I won’t do suicide of course. Let those ugly beasts have my phone; they will receive a punishment for making me cry at the university!!

     This incident taught me a lesson and the price is costly but I think God can explain why. :)

Aibs